Always
by Kode Dekka
Summary: "...Shall I give you confidence?" Signum and Fate, once rivals on the battlefield, and now friends. However, after years of being in her presence, Fate is unable to deny her feelings, and wants nothing more than to be held by that special person. Rated T.


_A/N: Finally, finally this is done and as good as its going to get. I wrote this about a week ago, but have been rewriting it over and over. The inspiration came from the doujin "You Know My Name" by Red Dragon. Many people have already guessed this, as most doujin are just hentai, and this is one of the few regular stories with this pairing. I'm going to say this outright, I now understand why there aren't many Signum x Fate fanfics. This pairing is really difficult and delicate, its very hard to make a good story with it. Really, only a talented writer could do a great story with these two characters. I'm not suggesting that I am that writer, but I am letting everyone know that I've done the best I can here. This kind of pairing, is best suited for manga, rather than fanfics, because some things are just easier to convey with pictures. That's all I'll say on this matter. _

_I worked hard on this, so I hope that you will all enjoy what I have created. This will be the first and last Signum x Fate fanfic I write, so savor it, okay?_

_- Kode-Dekka  
_

* * *

You were always by my side. Ever since I was a child, you showered me with support. You weren't like everyone else, you were always different. No matter how wonderful everyone else was, you always held a special place in my heart.

You were strong, and firm, and more serious than anyone I'd ever met. On the inside though, you had a soft, and gentle heart. It was full of so much love, I don't know how you ever kept it all locked away.

Because of your strength, I looked up to you. Because of your heart, I admired you. Because of everything that made you up, because of who you were. Because you were 'you'...

I fell in love.

* * *

Always

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha

By Kode-Dekka

* * *

I should have declined when Signum decided to take me out to dinner tonight.

It had been a long day, I was so tired, but it was nothing new. I was getting used to not sleeping every night, and sometimes, not eating. Because work took up so much of my time, I hardly had any left to myself, and even less to spend with Nanoha and Vivio. She was my best friend, but now we barely saw each other, it was kind of disheartening.

That's when Signum came up to me. Right when I finished work for the night, and right when lonely thoughts started to invade my mind.

"Testarossa." She called me as she always did. I don't think she has ever once called me by my first name.

"What is it, Signum?" She looked at me as I yawned, intensely, it felt like her eyes were piercing me.

"I'm going out for dinner, and I want you to come with me."

"Huh?" She never asked me out before. She wasn't exactly a wealth of conversion, so it was rare for her to even spend time socializing. Most always, she was training. That's probably why I was so initially confused when she asked me to go out to dinner with her. It was a perplexing thing.

"I said, I want you to come out to dinner with me."

"I heard you, but why?" Her usually firm and stoic face became a frown.

"Must I have a reason?"

"No, but..." I couldn't really come up with a reason to decline. I had work to get done, but its not like it had to be done right this second. It was just that this was so weird, I didn't know how to react.

In the end, I decided to just go along with it. Its been a long time since the two of us have been alone for anything other than training, so I might as well take her up on her offer. "Alright, just let me finish something here."

"I'll meet you outside then."

"Okay." She left me alone, and I flopped down on my chair, holding my face in my hands. I had a bit of a headache, so I reached on my desk for a bottle of pills, aspirins. Popping two of them, I washed them down with water, and then took in a deep breath.

"Well, I shouldn't keep her waiting." I left the small desk where I worked, and ran off to meet Signum, who waited patiently for me outside, in the chilly winter night.

* * *

The two of us stopped at a fancy looking restaurant. When we got inside, I really saw how sparking and colorful it was, I never expected her to take me to such a place, since she didn't seem like the sort.

When we sat down, and I took a look at the menu, I started to feel guilty. Everything here was really expensive, and I was a bit short on cash at the moment.

"Signum," I started, but she interrupted me right away.

"Don't worry about it Testarossa, its on me tonight."

"But-"

"I'm the one that invited you out, so let me handle it." She looked so serious, it was hard to keep my resolve. I knew I wouldn't win this battle. "I'm glad that you understand."

And just like that, I was conned into letting her pay for everything, though I still felt terrible about it. Soon someone came to take our order, I tried to get the least expensive thing I could. Signum saw through me right away, gave me a hard look, and then ordered for me. Not having a say in things made me feel 9 again, when I was just a child.

Back then, after the incident with the Book of Darkness; Signum served as a sort of guardian to me. If it wasn't for Lindy, she probably would have played the role of mother as well. She was stern, constantly giving me a hard time and pushing me to my limits. However, underneath all that, she had a beautiful heart, and would at times show great amounts of kindness, like she was right now.

"Testarossa, would you like to come back to me." I blinked, not realizing that the food was already here. I was too busy spacing out, thinking about those old times.

"Sorry, was just reminiscing a bit."

"I see." That was the extent of our conversion for the next several minutes. We ate instead, or Signum ate, I just sort of put food into my mouth and swallowed. I was feeling uncomfortable. It wasn't that I hated being with Signum, it was quite the opposite. I just didn't like these moments of silence between us, it gave me too much time to think about things, specifically about her. When I was with her, my chest got tight. To me, she was an important person, and different than everyone else, which made it hard to concentrate when it was just the two of us. In the end, my heart always betrayed me, and Signum could see that.

"Testarossa." She interrupted my thoughts again, and this time I made no excuse. Its not like I could tell her anyway, that I was distracted, because I thinking about her. I was so transparent, it was likely that she already knew anyway.

For the rest of the meal, she made no more effort to force conversion. I was grateful for that. She knew me well, almost as well as Nanoha; actually, maybe just as much, or even more. That was a problem, I didn't want her to know everything about me, especially not about my wretched heart, or the feelings inside, which caused it to tighten even more.

When we left the restaurant, I thought that would be the end of the evening. Signum had something else in mind, and dragged me across the street to a small bar, another unexpected move for her; she was just full of surprises tonight.

Right away, as soon as we sat down, she ordered me something to drink. She told me that from time to time, I should indulge myself and loosen up a little, that I was letting work take over my life. I agreed with her. There was nothing I could do about it though, I needed something to keep me occupied. I thought it was a little odd though, for her to worry so much about me. Even going as far as to buy me alcohol, it was certainly strange.

However, the alcohol did relax me, and I had another one before I knew it. I wasn't very good with handling my liquor, so it didn't take much for me to start feeling a bit ditsy. When Signum realized that, she didn't make me drink any more, and thankfully, I didn't have the money to keep going. So we just sat there and we talked, mostly about stupid things; like how Hayate had bugged her house, and peeped on Vita in the shower, the usual things that made life so interesting.

"Excuse me, I have to use the restroom." She said suddenly, leaving me all alone. It didn't take long, for men to come and start hitting on me.

"Hey baby, what's up?" The one who addressed me as 'baby', was a middle aged man, he looked a bit like a troll that was starting to go bald. He also had a friend who joined in, this one was even more repulsive. In the first place, I liked women, I have since as long as I could remember, so its not like they had any shot to begin with; I just wish that if it was going to get hit on by men, that they would at least be less intense about it.

They badgered me continuously. I kept wishing for Signum to come back. I may have been good at fighting, but I was absolutely was no good at dealing with these kind of things. When I did go out, it was usually with Nanoha, and she would always scare off the people that hit on me. Since I was by myself, I couldn't really do anything but fidget and remain silent, wishing I was somewhere else. _Damn it Signum, where are you?_

At some point, I started looking down at the floor, so I never noticed, she had already returned. "If you two don't mind, I'd rather you didn't hit on my girlfriend." Hearing Signum's strong and masculine voice, I looked up, and saw her. Her eyes were dangerously sharp, and she looked like she was ready to fight. She even had her hand on one of the men's shoulders.

They looked at her, then at me. "Maybe you two girls just need to experience a real man, that'll set you straight." He then made a motion to remove Signum's hand, big mistake. As soon as his hand touched her, she grabbed his arm, turned, and with all her strength, flung him over her shoulder. He landed hard on his back, and was knocked out cold.

"Why you!" The other guy went to the aid of his friend, Signum just sidestepped him and held her foot out, tripping him.

"Come." Signum suddenly grabbed my hand and started pulling me up, and out of the bar.

When we got outside, she released me and flagged down a nearby taxi. My face was flushed when we got in. It wasn't just because it was so cold outside. For a moment, inside that bar, Signum looked kind of cool, like a hero out of an action movie. It was also because she called me her girlfriend, and held my hand, but that was another matter entirely. I tried not to think about that part, but my heart betrayed me again. It was all her fault.

She usually wasn't like this. She always puts off a cold attitude, she always has a shell around her heart that keeps everything out, even Hayate. However, on nights like tonight, when it was just the two of us, its like she became a different person. She was gentler, and more understanding. I wondered a lot, if this was the real her, rather than the strong knight, who never let herself be fazed by anything.

As we headed off somewhere, presumably to her home, we sat quietly. My thought became crazy, I was starting to feel tired, so I leaned up against her.

"Testarossa, I'm sorry." She said suddenly.

"For what?"

"I shouldn't have brought you to that place, I forgot about your ineptitude in such situations."

"Its okay." It really was, because I had fun. Even though the night was kind of a mess, I still enjoyed her company enough to make it all worth while.

"There's something else as well," I looked up at her face, her cheeks were a little red. She was blushing, something I've never seen before in my life. It was kind of cute. "Sorry about what I said back there. I thought that they would back down, but they turned out to be pretty stubborn."

"Don't worry about it." I leaned more against her than before. _I was happy, so please, don't apologize._ I wanted to say that, but held my tongue, this was neither the time or place for such talk.

The taxi stopped, and we got back to Signum's apartment, where she lived alone. I never quite understood why she left Hayate's house, but I guess she just wanted to be a little more independent now that Hayate was a grown woman, and no longer needed to be protected.

She helped carry me inside. I was feeling mostly fine, except for the alcohol and fatigue. She brought me to the bedroom, and set me down her bed. "You'll sleep here tonight, I hope you don't mind." I shook my head. "Alright, goodnight then." She turned off the lights, and prepared to leave the room.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be sleeping on the couch." She said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I didn't want her to go right now. Because I was a selfish person, I wanted her to stay here with me.

"Signum, would you sleep beside me. Its hard for me to sleep by myself." I wasn't lying. I found it easier to sleep, when I had something, or someone to hold on to at night. Most of the time it was Nanoha, but lately it had been my desk. Signum sat down in front of me, and gently ran her fingers my hair while I laid there. It felt good, I was tempted to pass out just from her touch. She smiled down at me as she did it.

"Testarossa, you aren't a child anymore." I knew that, but it didn't change the fact that I still had such childish habits.

"Please, will you?" I sounded pathetic, it felt like I was begging her. I was half asleep at that time anyway, so I didn't really care how I sounded. I just wanted to see more of this gentle Signum, I wanted to be with her as much as possible, before tomorrow came and she was back to her stone self.

"Very well, if that's what you want." After she pulled a blanket over me, she went over to the other side, and crawled in beside me, facing the other way. I could feel her body beside mine, it was pleasant, and so very warm.

'Thank you..." I felt like I would fade away at any moment.

"Good night, Testarossa."

"Good...night..." And then, I felt darkness overcome me.

* * *

When I woke up, I had a headache. For a moment, I didn't know where I was. It wasn't until I saw Signum sleeping beside me, that I remembered last night. Upon closer inspection, my face reddened. I was holding her, my arms had wrapped themselves around her back at some point. I knew it would end up like this, however it was still quite embarrassing. Carefully, I let go of her, and got out of bed. I felt so silly.

_Why do I do this to myself?_ I stood at the bedside, my shadow and gaze covered Signum. My heart thumped in a quick rhythm, my chest felt tight again.

My feelings for Signum went beyond our friendship, far, far beyond. I was in love with her, I knew that, it was something I've known for a long time. It was also something I tried not to think about, because the thought of it was absurd. She was important to me, she had a place in my heart that no on else could fill. Still, I felt like I couldn't tell her my feelings, so I kept it all inside. I had no intention of telling her, ever. That's why I didn't understand, why I kept doing this. I put myself in situations where we could be alone, like last night. It was painful to be so close to her, close enough to touch her, and yet, never being able to go further than that. _I must be a masochist or something._ That had to be it, there's no other reason as to why I would constantly put myself through this painful torture.

"Just how long are you going to watch me, Testarossa?" Her voice made me gasp, I was so caught up in my own thoughts, that I couldn't sense that she was awake. She flipped over, and looked at me. "Did you plan on leaving without even saying anything?"

"No, I just..." Sometimes I didn't like she could read me like an open book. She sat up, pushing her hair aside so that it didn't obscure her vision. Having her inquisitive gaze on me was maddening. I averted my eyes from her, I couldn't stand it, the way she looked at me like that, with so much chilling emotion.

"Humph." She let out a small breath. While I was doing my best to avoid looking at her, it soon became impossible. She moved closer to me, and rubbed her hand across my cheek gently, affectionately, like a lover would. I shivered from her touch, and did my best not to faint. "After all the time we spent together, did you think I would never notice?" I finally looked at her. Her eyes had become so soft at that moment. I felt like I could melt - I _was_ melting from it.

"Testarossa, you are no longer a child, you've become a beautiful woman." I hated this, the way she saw through me without any effort at all. I was so clear, transparent, like glass. But Signum, I couldn't see what was in her heart at all. All I had on my mind was her, and yet I didn't understand anything. It was so frustrating, and I started to hate myself for being this way.

Her gaze became even softer, she let go of my face, and I breathed finally. "Why are you teasing me like this, Signum?" I said something I wish I hadn't. Even though I asked, I didn't want to hear the answer. Still my heart wanted to know. If my feelings were so clear to her, so easy to see, that she would do these things to me, and say these things to me; I didn't understand why she would continue to torture me like this, even though she must have known how much it hurt. Her face changed again, becoming one that looked a lot like disappointment.

"I don't know what would make you believe that I am doing such a thing." She was acting a lot like like the usual her. It was beginning to frustrate me even more. The feelings in my heart, finally exploded.

"You go and treat me like a sparring partner most of the time, and around everyone, you hardly pay attention to me. When we're finally alone, you act so gentle and kind that it confuses me. And yet, even though you treat me like this, you still refuse to call me by my first name, even though we're so close, even though I want you to..." She knew it bothered me. Everyone else who was close to me called me by my first name, except for her. She was the only person, who kept this strange distance. "Is it really so hard to call me by my name, like everyone else does?" I expected her to show some emotion at my outburst, but she just sighed.

"It appears that you've misunderstood me." And now, she looked more serious than ever before. "Testarossa, you are very important to me, just as you are to everyone else. However, I do no wish to be like them. I want to take up even more space in your heart. That's why I call you Testarossa, because no one else does. I desire to have something, that only you and I may share." And again, she brushed her hand against my cheek. "I know that I'm not very good at expressing my feelings, it is still a difficult feat for me. I do not want to show anyone my weakness, not myself, nor you. However, I can see that I've hurt you this way, I shall apologize for that." I shook my head and leaned into her hand, it felt so warm, however I still felt cold.

"I still don't understand. What are you saying then? Are you trying to tell me that you feel the same way I do, that you love me, like I love you?"

"If I were to say 'yes', what would you do?" I closed my eyes, and placed my hand over top hers.

"I don't know. I have no confidence in myself, I'm so scared about the future. But if you said it, I don't think I would be able to hold myself back anymore." As a response to that, Signum put her remaining hand on my other cheek.

"I see. Then shall I give you confidence?" She kissed me, softly, it was like being kissed by a cloud. I felt my head go fuzzy from the sensation. When she parted, she made sure that I looked at her, and that I couldn't look away. I saw it, the love in her eyes. For the first time, I was able to see into her heart clearly. "I love you, Testarossa." And so, she brought our lips together again, a little harder. I kissed her back this time, pouring all my pent up passion into it.

She leaned back and we fell together onto the bed, she held me tightly against her.

Soon the heat in our bodies took over, and a primal instinct possessed me. Our kisses became deeper and more passionate, she our tongues danced. She touched my chest, and my face, and legs, she felt and probed my whole body. I moaned and jerked with each loving motion.

Never before had I felt this kind of joy, the happiness that can only come from being touched by the person you love.

We made love, we touched and kissed, and doubled over in pleasure time after time. I don't know how long it lasted, it felt like it had gone on forever. When it was over, I just leaned my body against her chest, and let her embrace me. I didn't want this to end, I and I hoped that I wasn't just dreaming right now.

* * *

"Testarossa, I believe we are late for work." I didn't care.

"I want to stay like this for a little longer." Signum ran her hand through my hair, and pulled me closer than before. Again, she was gentle, and so different than when she was with everyone else. I was glad, only I got to see this side of her, it was something that belonged to me. Knowing that, I was happy. "Please, lets just stay like this."

"If that's what you want, then I wont say anything else." And as promised, she remained quiet, and did nothing but comfort me. If this lasted forever, I would never ask for anything else. If she stayed by my side, then I wouldn't need anything else. So I prayed to god, to just let this last, always and forever.


End file.
